Children need reassurances when their parent is grumpy

Children need lots of reassurances when their parent gets upset, or even just very stressed. When you’re annoyed at something your child has done, your child will feel those feelings from you and see it in your face and they generally need to know at least something about why you’re upset.  Mostly what they need Read More

The pitfalls of obedience training

First published in The Natural Parent Magazine 2013. Who would want to train children to be obedient, when we can bring them up to be discerning, critical thinkers with a highly developed capacity for big picture thinking, for empathy for self and others and to value integrity and what feels right above the directions of Read More

Grumpy children need our sweetness and nothing else will do

When children are upset and unsettled, they need empathy and connection before solutions or suggestions.  They need to get their feelings out and to see that we’re noticing and caring about those feelings.  From the smallest to the biggest problems, they need to see that we care before they can open to our suggestions, our Read More

Healthy ways of dealing with anger in the family and in yourself

Anger  and irritation are normal human emotions which most people feel, to one degree or another, most days.  The world is not divided into the angry and the not angry people.  People are at different stages in their ability to deal with their anger, but most people experience it most days at least in the form Read More

Go Away! What to do when your child won’t LET you connect

First published in the Natural Parent Magazine, available in shops in New Zealand or Australia but can be ordered from anywhere in the world.  “No! Go away!”, “you don’t care!”, “Stop talking!” or the dreaded “I hate you!”  If your child has expressed anything similar to this, be assured that you’re not alone.  For many Read More