Thank you Meg, for sharing your thoughts and the Free Your Kids Facebook post. It really touched me. I struggle with self forgiveness a lot. It is not something I have ever really done much at all, and life as a father is teaching me, and providing so many opportunities to learn it. I feel that if I don’t learn self forgiveness I won’t make it.
When I stand back to look at the inner turmoil it feels like I have to make the choice between self forgiveness and self destruction. I’m choosing self forgiveness, and posts like these are helping me to find ways of doing it; inner tools that I can use until it becomes more automatic.
And Anja, thank you for your thoughts as well. My own pain and frustration stems from past experiences, and my inner voice simply keeps it fresh and weeping within me. But it is my own pain that I am trying to avoid and brush off responsibility for when I let my anger and frustration bubble out in the moment.
When I do that I lose whatever connection I had in the moment with my son (2½ yrs), and simply increase his feelings of poison and vulnerability on the face of me losing it.
Your perspective of choosing to protect our children from pain in the moment, rather than protect ourselves from our own old pain made me really stop and think.
Thank you.
Andrew
