Self-healing

[Meg Rodney]

One of the trickiest things for me on this peaceful parenting journey has been how to investigate my triggers while still feeling like I was respecting my parents. I had a very good childhood with parents who were loving and supportive. I had nothing major happen in my childhood that I needed healing from. It took me a long time to explore my triggers because I was certain that there wouldn’t be a connection to my childhood. I resisted looking deeply at my triggers because it felt almost like a betrayal to my parents, especially my mom (who I was extremely close to – she was my best friend outside of my hubby, and she was dying of cancer while I was doing a lot of this investigation into my triggers). It wasn’t until I understood that looking more deeply at how my parents handled things did not mean that I thought they were bad parents. It was okay for me to acknowledge that they did made mistakes, just as I make mistakes with my boys. Acknowledging that they made some mistakes does not take away from the fact that they were awesome parents who gave me a fantastic childhood. But the fact is that I would go from being okay to seeing red when my son backtalked and that was due to how my parents reacted to me when I was ‘sassy’ toward my mom. Once I allowed myself to truly remember and journal about their reactions and how I felt, I was able to experience a big release; and then I was no longer triggered by backtalk. Since I am no longer triggered, I can now see backtalk for what it is: a sign of my son feeling disconnected/off, and I can help him.

[Casey Davies]

Thank you for sharing this…I too don’t have any thing major happen in my childhood. I am just starting to really look at my triggers and find the underlying reason so that I too can gain gain some perspective and start responding to certain situations in the way I know I should be.

[Genevieve Simperingham]

I’m really hoping Casey that doing the eCourse is going to really help you with becoming more aware of what triggers you and perhaps even some insights into what’s being triggered.

I’ve had many triggers to deal with and what helps me so much is knowing that these are old feelings, that my kid is just evoking it. When the reaction seems out of proportion to the situation it’s usually because some old unhealed wound is being touched on. OR that you’re so over stretched with exhaustion or high stress from current challenges. In which case, that’s what’s being triggered – the stress of having to keep putting out energy when your body is crying out for rest, or the stress of paying the bills etc.

[Meg Rodney]

I agree that doing the ecourse should be quite helpful with the awareness of the triggers, Casey. It is amazing how the simple act of becoming aware that something is a trigger (that disproportionate reaction that Genevieve referenced) can really help to tame the reaction. And, I can tell you, it is MUCH easier to stay calm and tap into the peaceful parent-y responses when one isn’t triggered!

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