Peaceful Partnering

[Paula Gee]

Some really good stuff in here around taking responsibility for your own self in relationships here.

[Genevieve Simperingham]

Paula, I love the way this couple have such a strong commitment to honesty in their relationship. I really appreciate you sharing it. I see they do a whole series of talks and that they’re a kiwi couple.

There are so many factors that lead to healthy functional relationships and honesty is so important. And yet it’s a huge can of worms for so many because to be honest can mean sharing thoughts and feelings that the other will find incredibly painful to hear, and if they’re more inclined to become reactive, to go into blame or self-blame, berating or self-berating or both, conflicts, shut down. Relationships with one’s intimate partner is the place where the oldest wounds tend to get really provoked, where a person feels the most exposed and vulnerable, hence can become the most defended and defensive. It can be in that relationship where a person should feel the safest where they become the most wounded. Yet there’s huge potential for a deep changing of old patterns to happen through the relationship.

So yes I think that radical open honesty is a great goal to work towards, and important for people to know that it can take a lot of work on the relationship patterns, of which being honest plays a big part, to get to the stage where there really can be that relaxed open flow of honest communication, where the air can become cleared as soon as it becomes a bit charged or a misunderstanding occurs.

I’ll share some other links which might also be helpful. I’ll start another thread with a couple of videos by Harville Hendrix.

[Author]

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