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[Genevieve Simperingham]

Just checking in to see how everyone’s getting on with working through the Step by Step eCourse. You’ll likely all be at different places and stages (for those of you working through it). I know lots of you have been working on Module 3 Filling our Cups and are now starting on Modeule 4. In module 4 we’re looking at bringing together getting centred, connecting with our child with empathy, using I Statements to express our concerns, requests or limits and then problem-solving.

Do share your progress, insights, queries, wonderings etc.

Here’s a direct link to Module 4; https://www.peacefulparent.com/module-4/4-introduction/

For instance;

You walk in and see your toddler climbing on the table.

Take a breath. (As you walk quickly toward your child)

Empathise, “Wow, you love to climb.” (as you now have your hands near your child to keep them safe.)

I message, “I got really worried when I saw you up there. C’mon let’s fly down little climber.”

Problem Solve, “Where would be a safe place to climb?” or “How could we do this safely? Shall I spot you?”

[Tycee Belcastro]

Hi Everyone,

I just finished Module 3 and I enjoyed it very much. I am especially interested in family meetings and what challenges other parents face when introducing family meetings. If anyone is interested in sharing, I would love to hear.

I was the single parent of 1 son, so when he was small family meetings between he and I were pretty easy. It was mostly just he and I and we could be informal about it and it seemed to go smoothly most of the time. We liked using a talking stick sometimes, that he decorated. He would sometimes like to do them in strange locations, like in the tent we set up in the back yard or in the walk in closet. He was funny. He liked including his friends sometimes too.
When I remember things becoming confusing or more difficult was when other adults were involved, like my mother, or grandmother. It was hard for them to understand the idea that everyone in the family gets a voice. My mother said she liked the concept until she had to deal with her attachments to doing something a certain way. My grandmother just wanted to give in to anything my son wanted so as to please him. I felt very frustrated by that.

I would love to hear other experiences and how they were worked through.

[KatherineT]

Hi Tycee,

I love that you and your son used a talking stick he decorated in your meetings. That is beautiful! My son is just 4 so we are new to meetings. Mostly him and I debrief at bedtime, often lying together with the lights off (I think sometimes he finds sharing feelings easier in the dark) and it usually starts with him asking, “what did you do today Mum?”, as a way in to him sharing about his day. Sometimes I ask him what he liked about the day and then ask if anything was hard. If something has been an ongoing stress or a challenge is coming up we might connect and talk through that then too, for example a few months ago he was anxious to go to kindy, and recently he has started swimming classes again and was scared about putting his face in the water.

I relate to the complexity of adding extended family to meetings. Recently we had my Mum helping over the school holidays and we needed to come together to talk through the challenges of transitioning from Hugo being in my care to hers, as well as Mum and Hugos’ conflicting wants and needs. I found it challenging mediating and felt Mum didn’t hear Hugo’s needs, which to be honest was probably a reminder of how I felt unheard as a child. In retrospect I think I could have responded to my Mum’s struggle more compassionately, rather than focusing on Hugo’s needs and trying to convert Mum to Peaceful Parenting! I am only just finishing module 2 so look forward to the family meetings unit in module 3 providing some more PP tools.

xx

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