Main eCourses forum

[Ioulia De vos]

Hi!

I hope someone can help me with my two boys 3yo and 20mo who when frustrated/angry at one another they turn to hitting/pushing/biting etc I go woah what no hitting/hurting and have to get between them and usually pull them off each other while they are yelling/kicking. My 3yo says he has to hurt his brother as it will make him feel good I try and offer alternatives however he is not interested.

I later explain its not okay to hurt each other and it’s against our family rules but I am a little lost at what else I can do to help them especially with the 20month old being a bit young to communicate his needs.

The fighting is usually as the get in each other’s face and annoy one another or want the same toy etc.

[Cleo Webster]

Hi Loulia
I just saw your post and the first thing that I thought was the following

Do the boys share space for sleeping (same room)?
playing (are they expected to play together)?

My initial feeling is that they might be in each others space a lot and are both too young to understand and communicate their needs with each other and reach overwhelm quickly. Could their time and space be separated so they get to be alone / play alone more. When they are both a little older the conflict resolution may be easier, listening to both sides and modelling a more gentle resolution, at 20 months it may be a little one sided with the older one being able to articulate more fully, and may not be so helpful.

Kind regards,
Cleo

[Author]

Posts