Parenting differently from family or friends and the tensions this creates

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    • #9018

      Anybody experience tensions during the holidays with family or friends relating to differences in parenting? It’s sadly a very common theme which can bring so much stress and make parenting more difficult. It’s especially difficult when parents face these challenges at times when it’s supposed to be a break and quality family time like holidays or long weekends.

      Sharing this article for those of you who relate to this and are needing a bit of empathy of validation!

      “Do you sometimes feel challenged in your attempts to be a more peaceful parent in a society that’s less than compassionate towards the differences and struggles of parents and children? Many parents are surprised about the tensions that arise amongst friends and family when they choose to parent in ways that differ from the norm. Have you sometimes felt harshly judged for your choice to be patient and supportive at a time when your child expressed their raw feelings? Did you often hide your exhaustion for fear of being judged to be your own worst enemy for not sleep training your baby? These are issues that many parents I talk to through my work have a huge need to discuss. Many parents I’ve helped as a counsellor have described the heartbreak of rejection they’ve experienced as a result of choosing to parent very differently.

      There is strength in numbers and it’s dangerously easy to assume that the choices of the majority are the right choices. Such attitudes are felt acutely by just about anybody in one or more minority group. Yet the frontiers of change have always been forged by those who choose to walk a path less travelled, who bravely step into new territories and new ways.”

    • #10887

      Having issues with this now with a friend who thinks I brush things under the carpet because I don’t yell at my daughter or shame her in front of others and because i like to gather some info about a situation before I jump in.

      No amount of expressing that I will deal with things after my daughter has calmed down and when I know what’s going on (sometimes things happen in another room etc and then I’m trying to find out all sides of the story) and with a calm, respectful discussion seems to help.

      It’s such a tricky situation.

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