My girl was 4 when she gave up the dummy entirely of her own accord… we did lots of work with Genevieve on getting her to express her feelings fully and yes that means being totally comfortable with the crying etc. I know how hard it is to be ok with it sometimes particularly as they get older. In the end I realised that it was my inability to be ok with her crying that lead to her dependance on the pacifier… it pacified me (and I know she picked up on how much it calmed me when she stopped crying – she sensed that crying meant that the person she was totally dependant on started becoming distressed). In the end it was only when I weaned myself of the dummy that she was free to wean herself 🙂 Additionally, she has also become very tuned in to her own emotions now and will say “I just need to have a cry because I’m sad about that” and let me know that she needs that time…. we haven’t looked back! Its been a huge learning experience for us all 🙂 xx We have recently gone through weaning my boy (2.5 years) and having the understanding I gained through the experience with my daughter made the process so much gentler and compassionate.