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Genevieve Simperingham wrote a new post, Tread gently when correcting your child 10 years, 6 months ago
Parents work hard to help their child become aware of what’s socially appropriate and inappropriate, what they’re allowed to do or not allowed to do, what tasks need to be achieved and how their words, reactions
Thank you for another wonderful article. I don’t even know how to put into words what I’m experiencing reading your articles and learning more about this approach to child rearing…One thing I’ve noticed is that so much of what you describe as unhelpful parenting approaches were the way I was raised and I had no idea how deep those hurts have affected me. This passage for instance (below) completely resonated with me and it makes me sad for little Caroline…but I realize that having this awareness that is part of how I will be able to develop self-compassion but also the tools for reversing this way of parenting….
“Parents often exaggerate their disappointment in their child to labour their point in the hope that the child will think more about their parent’s advice and be more considerate. Yet instead of making them think responsibly, we’re likely making them feel pretty awful about themselves. Parents then wonder why their child is so reactive or resistant and further accuses them of not caring about their impact on other family members.”
Yes Caroline I hear you, it’s big work changing all our childhood conditioning, and doing so without being hard on ourselves. Because as you say that young self from our childhood lives on in us and needs a lot of the empathy, acknowledgement and support to release that was needed in childhood. I need to develop a notification system for comments. I often don’t see them until I revisit an article. Late responding but thank you Caroline for your comment and I’m sure lots of parents will have read and resonated!