Hi Rebecca, it’s so fabulous that you want to be able to parent yourself peacefully…intention and awareness means you’re well on the path.
I take it this wasn’t modelled for you growing up and, in fact, your own childhood was quite tricky….that’s usually the reason for needing to learn how to be kind and nurturing to ourselves.
Because most of our hurts are to do with inadequate attachment from our early days, work IN RELATION with a counsellor can be very beneficial and healing, simply for receiving care, attention and empathy from another human, as well as benefiting from things they have learnt that might specifically help you.
A listening partnership is also very valuable, teaming up with someone and both agreeing to take turns listening to each other vent, usually over the phone at an arranged time, with no judgement or advice, just compassion and warmth (in fact, practising what we are recommending we do for our children). This can be very healing and a fantastic way of not letting things build to breaking point during the week.
Then there’s mindfulness practice, which, until recently, was the missing link for me. It really does re-wire the brain. There are many paths and now, many apps for the phone for reminders to pause, take a breath and bring awareness to what is in the body right now.
Bodywork is also very beneficial to many, as it bypasses the mind-mazes and goes straight to where old, painful feelings are stored. There are many to choose from, including EFT (or ‘tapping’), kinesiology, Somatic Experiencing, Gentle Chiropractic, EMDR (an eye movement thing).
And lastly (that I can think of) there are books and articles and youtube. I highly recommend anything by John Bradshaw, such as Homecoming: Championing the Inner Child; or The Family; or anything by Pete Walker, who has articles on his website, http://www.pete-walker.com; anything by Brene Brown or Kristin Neff (both big on self-compassion and anti-shame). You can search most of these names on youtube and find free talks by them.
If I think of more, I’ll come back to this. Meanwhile, I wish you well Rebecca. Feel free to say a little more about what you’re looking for as it may narrow down the search (and pm me if it feels more comfortable for you).
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