Hi Natalie,
your question somehow went under the radar when you asked it. Has the issue since been resolved? My first question would be if she needs to master the skill because she will be starting school? If you have time to play with, I think she’s still quite young. Lots of children still prefer their parent to wipe their bottom after they do a poo at this age. Yet usually manage to do it themselves when they’re in the care of someone who they don’t feel comfortable to ask. When my daughter was this age, she would still prefer me to do it for her at home, as would some of her close friends who spent so much time with us that I was like a second mum. But if she was at playcentre without me, she would manage it herself. Also, you can get biodegradable wipes now apparently, so that could be an option as well. Or do what they do in certain European countries and have a waste bin with a bag in it that she could use. I don’t know if she’s been mastering holding and writing with pens and pencils, but most children at this age can get quite frustrated at focusing on this level of dexterity, but that usually changes dramatically over the following year. Different for different children of course, but overall I’m not surprised at all to read this and would try as best you can to hold that she’ll get more confident over this next year.
And of course with anything that’s become a bit stressful and charged for child and/ or parent, it’s ALWAYS a good move to try and bring some humour in to the situation. You could maybe be goofy in complaining that you have to go to the loo and do a poo when you don’t want to leave the activity you were doing. Most adults feel a bit embarassed or uncomfortable to enact this kind of humour but it can actually be very relieving and even therapeutic for parent and child alike!
Also maybe read my response to Bronwyn about her girl having accidents, different but some of the advice is equally relevant to your situation. It’s in the Q&A in the resource library.
3.5 year old struggling with toilet training
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