Hopefully some of you have had a chance to watch the replay of the recent Zoom video on Strong Willed Children. There’s a huge connection of course between “gifted” children and being strong willed in that most children who have an exceptionally high cognitive or emotional functioning tend to be very strong willed children.
When I was a child I could never really figure out if I was super smart or dumb because both were reflected to me. I’m both dyslexic and when I had an IQ test done in my last year of school, I was told that I was in the top .25%. I’m sharing this because despite all the turmoil my differences caused me during (and since!) childhood, it’s been so helpful to be able to draw on some of my own personal journey in relating to many of the children and their parents who I’ve helped over the years. And of course, it probably won’t surprise you and may even be your experience that strong willed outside the box thinkers with certain cognitive abiities that are very different from the majority are often raising one or more children who have similar differences. And hence challenges!! In fact just today both my children have talked to me at different times about their challenges and insights around having a much higher emotional intelligence to just about anybody else they know. My understanding and support is a huge sanity saver for them, and I have to admit it goes both ways at times.
I’m sharing this post by Joanne Foster, a fellow parent educator. Joanne has also just published a book on the subject, I haven’t yet read it, but I’ve always really highly respected Joanne’s work.
Here’s a snippet;
“Many emotionally gifted individuals have a profound commitment to make the world better which, may exacerbate their emotions and intensity. Social justice is a core value that weighs on an emotionally gifted individual and when the balances are uneven this may be very challenging for the individual as well as for others since the perceived evaluation is imbedded in their anatomy and drive. For example, a gifted child on the playground that experiences a classmate cheating in a game of dodge ball, may cause a rage of furry if the cheater is not disciplined. The injustice on the playground may carry with them throughout the day and may have difficulty letting go, since the gifted individual is prone to worry and rumination.
An increase in anxiety and depression was self-reported by gifted individuals compared to the national average. It is hypothesized that their increased emotional ability may be a precursor for increased accounts of anxiety and depression. Gifted expansive empathy is seeing, feeling, and embodying things more deeply and is at the center of the gifted experience. In a recent study individuals that experienced social exclusion activated anterior cingulate cortex and anterior insula, indicating that physical and emotional pain illicit similar neural networks. Is too much empathy a bad thing? In a recent study, researchers found that too much empathy can actually be disadvantageous since, it can hinder processing other information and be linked to negative emotions.”
https://www.giftedunlimitedllc.com/blog
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