Village Green General Forum

[NATALIE PAPADOPOULOS]

hi all

i have a really sensitive, smart 8-year-old overthinker and she has expressed worry about not being a good person because she has mean thoughts about others when she doesn’t like their behaviour ie. she will call a teacher who is raising their voice ‘rude’ in her own head but worries that means she’s not kind herself.

we have empathised and shared that it’s normal to feel like this when we are hurt/scared etc.

We’ve also suggested falling asleep while focusing on the mantra ‘I love and accept myself exactly as I am’

….but I was just wondering if there are any articles specific to this or any specific advice so I can see if I’m ‘missing’ anything?

Thanks,
Natalie
xxx

[Genevieve Simperingham]

Sounds like you’ve supported your girl beautifully Natalie, given her empathy and reassurance, and love the affirmation. With affirmations like this I really like the little formula of Even though (that which I’m not happy about) I (affirming that which I want to feel). So perhaps, “even when I get annoyed at my teacher, I love and accept myself”.

Also did you talk through the teacher raising her voice and what you think of that and what she thinks of that, and how you both feel about it, and how it might make the other children feel, and what she wishes the teacher would do instead? She might need to really think, talk, feel her way through this situation. So hard for kids when they’re subjected to that which is very stressful for them, and I know your girl is one of the strong willed kids who feels so strongly about what is or isn’t just – yet has very little power to influence the situation or even voice her concerns. There’s quite a bit there for her to process and the more she knows that you’re really tuned in to her experience, feelings and needs, the more outlet and resetting she can gain at home. Which gives her more resilience to deal with these situations in school or elsewhere. If she’s sitting there thinking “well I don’t like that the teacher is raising her voice and I know my mum doesn’t like it either” it can help her hold on to her sense of her own values.

And if you’ve had conversations like that with her Natalie, how has that gone down?

<3

[NATALIE PAPADOPOULOS]

Thank you.
Yes, we’ve had lots of discussions around this topic and she’s getting better at understanding people are doing the best they can etc. Although it’s not ideal!!
It’s good to view this issue, as you say, as a chance for us to explore what’s underneath these moments of her feeling like this and there are lots of different triggers.
I feel like this is an issue that may be hidden.
How many other kids feel like this too and struggle with self love as adults because of it?
xx

[Author]

Posts