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[Tabitha Jonson]

How is everyone getting on with week 3/ module 3 in the Step by Step eCourse? Any questions so far, insights? Have you changed or tweaked the way you think about tantrums and other upsets?

The realisation that the tears were a good thing was a big aha moment for me.

[Dianne Cody]

Hi

Yes I agree, only this week after reading that did I realise that tears were a useful thing as I always am the one who sometimes says don’t cry when it seems that it’s not really a big deal. My 3 year old is looking at me a bit strangely this week when I ask him to keep crying and get it all out. Am getting better with verbalising the emotion, though he says I’m not angry, I’m not tired when that’s what I think and he is probably overwhelmed and not sure what emotional state he thinks he’s in. We are talking about it after the event, e.g the next day too just to try and process some things. We also had our first family meeting and the kids came up with a strategy of doing a stop sign when one or them or us as parents were getting too loud, so you were meant to stop and give a high-five to each other and then give them a hug. That is starting to work already they are both acknowledging that to each other. I’ve heard it mentioned a few times already this week. Thanks for the guidance and support.

[Tabitha Jonson]

Thanks for sharing Dianne.

I am having a wee smile imagining your little one wondering what’s got into Mum. 🙂 And yes totally agree that often they are so overwhelm and can’t access the bit of the brain that can ‘name’ the emotion. Often they just show us with their tears or angry words or bodies. Great idea to talk through at another time as it will build understanding and it also let’s him know you really do care about all his feelings.

Great idea from the kids and so empowering that they are able to let you as parents know it’s too much. Mine are great at that and it’s really helpful! 🙂

[Wendy Andrews]

I love the stop sign idea Dianne. And yes, funny how it’s so hidden from us that tears are healing. Whatever caused them is usually already over and they are the body’s way of clearing the emotional (and chemical) debris.

[Najla]

Hi All, I just wanted to check in with everyone, express gratitude to Genevieve and the other mentors for this work. I am finding it to be life changing – therapeutic, especially for myself, let alone my children. I am still working on week two, as I felt a need to absorb it more deeply. I had a problem last week downloading the video on problem solving and felt incomplete in the module. This week I tried again and it worked. I am so glad I did! It will prove to be a game changer in my family! I have watched it multiple times and started practicing it. I was shocked to see how when after stating the problem and validating the feelings of each child, how eager they actually were to pose solutions! It is something so new in my family as in the past I either shouted them down or played judge making one of them the loser, or just freaking out as the conflict escalated. Narayani continues her violence, but I do think it is lessening. I am still slipping into my old ways sometimes and notice when I do, but validate my own feelings for slipping (it is understandable!) and then try to repair the connection when I can. I have carved a bit of time tomorrow morning in hopes of starting week 3, but there is a part of me that wants to read the articles presented as bonus in week two, and so I may not be able to start week three until next week. Either way, I am so glad to be here!

[Wendy Andrews]

Hi Najla, this sounds so positive! Such simple adjustments can seem to work magic hey! Our children are so keen for this and so forgiving too. It’s important that you do this at the pace that works for you, no pressure from us at all.

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