Last night Tabitha shared a lovely little story about her kids with myself and Wendy, which led to Tabitha having the idea of us doing a magic moments thread in here. I had one just last night that I thought I’d share to start the ball rolling and I know Tab is going to add hers too. Please share your magic moments either now, or throughout this eCourse as they happen.
Last night DH was getting frustrated because DD(13) was on the after dinner clean up but was taking a long time, she’d do a bit, go and play with new hair thing, come back 15 minutes later and do another few bits, head off again etc etc. There was just the wiping down the surfaces left to be done and DH kept asking her with a tone that of exasperation to pleeeeeaase just finish it. Then he said to me “Gen can you please do some PP to get DD to finish the clean up”. He was exhausted and knew he just didn’t have the energy to muster up.
So, I called her over, took her hand and said “hey sweetheart, I can see you’ve filled the dishwasher and put all the food away into the fridge and pantry, and I really appreciate all that you’ve done when you’re tired and just want to relax.”
DD “yes I just want to go on snap chat and catch up with my friends”,
me; “I know honey, it’s Friday evening, it’s been a big day and a big week (home later than usual after us being to the vets and the supermarket) and you’re exhausted and it’s a big stretch to do the whole tidy up after dinner on your own isn’t it. Just one last little blast and you’re all done, it’ll take about 2 minutes to rinse out the cloth and wipe down the surfaces and then you can lie on the couch and catch up with your friends.”
DD; “ok, I love you mum” and gave me a huge smile and a big hug, and 3 minutes later it was all done.”
You’ll see our Centre, Connect, Communicate throughout the material. And this is a classic example of DH’s communication not eliciting the cooperation and not motivating DD because he wasn’t centred and wasn’t connecting. But when I got centred and could really connect with her and give her my full attention and show empathy and care of her feelings and needs, and made physical contact which is a powerful way of connecting, then she could take in my communication and actually felt supported and cared for, and the interaction helped her find the energy to finish the job and then feel very pleased with her achievement.
It’s not easy to get centred and to connect when we feel tired, stressed, stretched, but the more clear we are that this is both what’s needed and is going to ultimately save us a lot of energy (asking, reminding, nagging etc), then it’s easier to motivate ourselves to bring the connection into the interaction.
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