Improve your relationship with your teenage child aged 13 - 18 years.

My body belongs to me

Body autonomy, boundaries and consent As I was lighting the fire in the living room lately, my 14 year old daughter and her friend were studying for a health test the next day on the subject of sexuality and gender.  It was refreshing listening to their very open, down to earth approach to the topic, Read More

If you want your teenager to be patient, reasonable, and understanding …

Last night I was saying goodnight to DD (13) when she started telling me about all the reasons why she feels she really wants a certain phone.  She was making some really good points, but I didn’t reflect that, my rising stress about the sleep she needed led me to cut to the chase and Read More

Peacefully parenting your strong willed child

Peacefully Parenting your Strong Willed Child Some parents have said that peaceful parenting wouldn’t work, or hasn’t worked, with their strong willed child, that they need a more strict approach.  And indeed each child is unique and each parent child relationship is both unique and complex.  Yet, I believe that peaceful parenting is especially important for Read More

Making chores more inviting

This article offers some tips to maintain a positive atmosphere around chores in the family and generally help build the team spirit. The only cooperation worth having is that which is given freely by a child, not because he has been frightened into obedience, but because he feels loved, respected, and understood, and consequently wants Read More

Help your child to be skilled at solving problems

Promoting problem solving skills Instead of thinking of your child’s behaviour as wrong or naughty, it’s more constructive to think in terms of problems that need to be solved with a positive solution that meets some of the needs in another way.  Children need a lot of practice solving their daily problems all through childhood Read More

To make your child very angry, tell them to “calm down”

Children are so often told to “calm down”. Have you been told to calm down as a child or an adult? And if so, how has it felt to you? What effect has it had on you and what was the message you received? To become more calm is so often what’s needed when a Read More

When children seem hard to please

Often when a child is tired and their parent is caring for them, it can feel like it’s so hard to get it right, to soothe the child.  Her needs are high and her tolerance is low.  The hug is too tight or not tight enough, you spoke too loud or they called you and you didn’t Read More

The pitfalls of obedience training

First published in The Natural Parent Magazine 2013. Who would want to train children to be obedient, when we can bring them up to be discerning, critical thinkers with a highly developed capacity for big picture thinking, for empathy for self and others and to value integrity and what feels right above the directions of Read More

Thank you for staying with me when I told you to go away

One day when my daughter was about eight, in expressing to me all the reasons why she really appreciates me, she said “because when I’m angry and I tell you to go away, you stay with me and keep looking after me”. I knew she was particularly referring to an experience a couple of days Read More

Everyone deserves to feel truly at peace with themselves – it’s possible!

A little melt my heart moment one day that I thought I’d share. We sat at the dinner table to eat. My seventeen year old son looking really sad and disappointed, he apologized for burning the omelette. His twelve year old sister quickly responded “it’s okay, we all learn from our mistakes all the time, I think Read More