When your child hurts you in anger

I’m losing it with my four year old! Sarah asks:  “He is having a very long spree of very angry tantrums, emotional outbursts, “I hate you’s”. And is hitting me, throwing things at me, etc. He’s not doing this to anyone else other than his parents.  Now, I can listen, set empathetic limits, stay close, Read More

Why not to ignore your child or put them in time out

We should ignore the child when they act out! – Or should we? By Genevieve Simperingham Parents are often urged to put their child in time out when they exhibit unwanted behaviour.  When the child resists going to sleep and repeatedly gets out of bed, parents are advised to steer the child back to bed, Read More

Peacefully parenting your strong willed child

Peacefully Parenting your Strong Willed Child Some parents have said that peaceful parenting wouldn’t work, or hasn’t worked, with their strong willed child, that they need a more strict approach.  And indeed each child is unique and each parent child relationship is both unique and complex.  Yet, I believe that peaceful parenting is especially important for Read More

To make your child very angry, tell them to “calm down”

Children are so often told to “calm down”. Have you been told to calm down as a child or an adult? And if so, how has it felt to you? What effect has it had on you and what was the message you received? To become more calm is so often what’s needed when a Read More

The consequence of imposing consequences

First published in The Natural Parent Magazine (New Zealand and Australia) “Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent than the one derived from fear of punishment.”  ~  Gandhi When requests, limits and boundaries are repeatedly asserted by a parent or teacher with the threat of enforced consequences tends to cause Read More

Setting limits can bring healing tears and tantrums

Setting limits can bring healing tears and tantrums It’s important to express the limits that prevent aggressive or destructive behaviour, and express the many requests that are part of getting things done on any one day, yet it doesn’t improve their behaviour or their emotional wellbeing if we’re critical, angry, harsh or punitive.  In fact, Read More

The pitfalls of obedience training

First published in The Natural Parent Magazine 2013. Who would want to train children to be obedient, when we can bring them up to be discerning, critical thinkers with a highly developed capacity for big picture thinking, for empathy for self and others and to value integrity and what feels right above the directions of Read More

Grumpy children need our sweetness and nothing else will do

When children are upset and unsettled, they need empathy and connection before solutions or suggestions.  They need to get their feelings out and to see that we’re noticing and caring about those feelings.  From the smallest to the biggest problems, they need to see that we care before they can open to our suggestions, our Read More

Helping children adapt to change

Heraclitus, the Greek philosopher is quoted as saying; “The Only Thing That Is Constant Is Change” Because children are constantly grappling with lots of new information, environments, activities, expectations, people and so much more, it stands to reason that the more time they spend in the places and with the things, the rituals and the Read More

Helping Children Move from Conflict to Conflict Resolution

Click here to Subscribe to receive other articles and updates. “You can’t, and it’s better if you don’t, solve all of your child’s problems, but you can share them.” I was recently at a social gathering where gangs of children swarmed around the house and the land, while adults socialized. As I chatted with friends, I Read More